Realize
by LiveALittleLouder
Summary: Shay has always been there for Seth, especially during his shift. But after he imprint on her nemesis, it gets hard for Shay to be around. Now she's bumped to second and starts to see that she may have feelings for him. But he can't possibly return them, could he? Was the chemistry always there and they were too blind to see it? Maybe she just needs to help him realize. Seth/OC
1. Twenty Questions

TWENTY QUESTIONS

* * *

SETH

* * *

Thunder rumbled as lightning etched across the midnight sky. The rain fell down hard and the sound of the storm was enough to drown out the Full House marathon of reruns that the group had previously been watching. Though the threat of the electricity going out lingered, all was surprisingly blissful.

"Five! Five miles away," Brady exclaimed. The younger kids had been counting the seconds between thunders to estimate how far away the storm was. Their excitement was contagious as I soon found myself smiling.

"What's that smell?" Collin asked while sniffing the air cautiously. "Did something die?" I got up from the worn out love seat, since all the seats on the couch were taken by the boys, and made my way to my small, modest kitchen.

"Yeah, my taste buds."

In the kitchen was my best friend, Shay, fussing over something burning. I offered to help her, (I was known for my Mac n cheese) but she simply pushed me away. I shrugged. "I don't need help," she insisted.

Peering into the pot, I instantly wished I hadn't. The mixture- whatever it was- couldn't pass off as prison food. It was grey and lumpy and had a very distinctive smell of nutmeg...oatmeal.

"Did you seriously burn oatmeal?" I asked incredulously. I picked up the package. "And it's instant, too." I rolled my eyes, laughing on the inside. Sadly, Shay wasn't known for her cooking skills.

"No, it's not...it can still be saved..." Shay dumped more water into the pot, desperately trying to save the precious oats and not have to ask for help. That was Shay for you.

"How much water did you out in there?" There had to be more than four cups, which I knew was way too much.

Shay shrugged, wiping away a loose strand of hair. "I dunno. Like six and a half cups...why?" She turned to look at me with an expression of confusion. "Is that not enough? I can add more." Before she could make her way to the sink with the measuring cup, I stopped her with a hand on her shoulder, preventing her from adding to the damage.

With my other hand, I reached for the measuring cup, carefully tearing it from her grasp. "Let me handle this, Kay?" I took my hand off her shoulder and grabbed the pot, dumping the contents into the sink and down the pipes.

Shay gave me a disappointed sigh and went back to the entertainment room, aka 'the everything room'- a nickname we had come up with sometime in the third grade- and sat down at the love seat which I had previously occupied with my butt. She tried to busy herself with the storm but I knew her heart wasn't really in it. I wondered what she thought about these days.

I busied myself with filling the pot with new water and then adding some oats. After that, I went to the one and only cupboard in the poor kitchen and rummaged for cinnamon and nutmeg- the mix never had enough. Luckily I was in stock. Soon the smell of spices filled the air and covered the smell of burnt oats. I brought over a bowl of triumph, excited to be able to boast about it when I saw Shay curled up into a ball. I smiled and set my bowl down on the cracked coffee table before lifting up her legs and sitting next to her. I gently eased her head off the arm of the chair- careful to prop up her head- and rested it on my chest. My steady heart beat was the only noise besides the storm, which was starting to die down.

Slowly, the other kids fell asleep and I could feel if was my turn soon. I didn't sleep much these days, not that I would tell Shay this. I didn't want her to worry, though she didn't really pass off as the worrying type.

But a new fear followed me every time I closed my eyes, and though I knew it was inevitable, the sound of sleep didn't have the same comfort as it once did.

Because every time I closed my eyes, I was taken somewhere I hadn't been before- or if I had- I didn't remember it. And I became something I wasn't. I became a blood thirsty murderous creature: a wolf.

* * *

FLASHBACK

SETH

* * *

"Okay, okay," Shay shouted, her mouth full of pizza. She was spitting everywhere and making a huge mess but the alcohol in her system didn't seem to register that and alcohol in mine didn't care. "Favorite animal?"

For the last half an hour we had been playing twenty questions and we were only on question fourteen. I was staring to get bored. My shrug didn't seem to please her: "You first."

Shay tilted her head and the bottle back, letting it spill across her tongue and all over her chin. She lifted and arm to wipe at the drops.

"Easy, a wolf."

I looked at her puzzled. "A wolf? Why?"

"Why not?" Shay took another swig from the bottle. "They're fast and furry, a great combination. And I think they're cute. I wouldn't mind snuggling with one." She shrugged, probably ignoring my input though I gave none.

"Well, what about you?"

I had no idea. Animals were animals. Did it really matter which one I liked? I thought about making up an answer but she would probably ask follow up questions and I didn't feel like thinking.

"I guess, a wolf." Shay threw one of the throw pillows at my head- though it soared somewhere off to my right and hit a hanging posted of Justin Timberlake. I grabbed for the bottle, laughing, and took a sip. It was strong and made my head dizzy.

"Copy cat."

* * *

END OF FLASHBACK

SHAY

* * *

"Seth," I whispered, so I wouldn't wake up the other boys who had dog piled on the couch. I shook his shoulders though it did little to wake him up. He turned a bit but other than that he was still dead asleep. "Come on, Paul is gunna freak if he notices the car gone."

Something about that must have triggered in his brain because his eyes fluttered open, a terrified look in his eyes. I got off his lap- though I didn't remember ever getting on it- and hurried to pull on my shoes and a pair of sweatpants- my booty shorts wouldn't help my case.

Seth grabbed for the keys and tossed them to me as we both climbed into the black four by four truck. The legal driving age in the state of Washington is fifteen, sixteen without an adult. Around La Push, we all learned how to drive stick by the time we hit puberty. Driving around town as a fourteen year old was probably not a good idea, which is why the elders forbade us from using the main roads without a license. Unfortunately, we had to go onto three main roads to get to my house because it was on the other side of town.

We pulled up our hoodies and put on some shades. To outsiders we all looked the same and if you didn't look close, our height allowed us to pass off for twenty-one. Which explained a lot.

The drive was ten minutes assuming there were no red lights, lines, or other problems. The entire time Seth kept glancing at the clock above the stereo which only made me more stressed. His left leg shook as he bounced it up and down, nervously. I put the truck in cruise control and then reached over with my right hand and set it on his leg.

"Please stop." He muttered a low, 'sorry' but after a few minutes the shaking was back. I didn't know if it was a habit or just a 'Paul thing' but Seth always did that.

About a block away, I turned off the engine and we both hopped out of the car. We hiked up our pants and pushed the truck up the inclined driveway. Though our grunts and the squeals of the wheels were not as quiet as we would have liked, it was a great deal quieter than the engine would have been.

We pushed the truck up against the side of the two story house near my window and he helped me step onto the hood of the car, and through the window. I always kept it open in case of something like this.

My curtains blew into my face and once again, I regretted getting them. Not only were they horribly girly but they were also impractical.

Once I climbed through, I gave a second glance down at Seth. He waved goodbye and I found myself smiling slightly as I shut the window tight. Another win for Team Awesome.

On my bed, my phone buzzed but I ignored it as I went to the bathroom and flipped on the light. Luckily there were two bathrooms and I had my own. I turned on the sink and let the water run for a couple of minutes as I changed into pajamas. The silky feel of the material have me instant comfort and the sweatshirt I pulled over my head added to that. I grabbed my toothbrush and my retainer and thanked the stars again I wouldn't have to deal with grouchy Paul. Mom was right: he was a deep sleeper.

I turned off the light and walked back to my room, walking to my bed with only the moonbeams as my guide. I turned my phone on to see seven text messages...from Paul. The first one read, 'where are you?' The rest flowed along the same lines. Then another buzz and a new text, 'you're so busted' So close.


	2. I am Sam

I AM SAM

* * *

SHAY

* * *

I wiped at a stray strand of my dark hair from my face, the sweat gleaming on my forehead. Technically the truck belonged to Paul, which meant he had to clean it, but he never passed an opportunity to give me the task. So, for taking the truck, I had to clean it. Usually the task wasn't that bad and all but Paul had driven it all the way to town in the mud and I easily pictured this job taking the entire day.

"Hey, Shay," Seth called from behind me. He casually slung one arm on the mirror of the left side and put on his famous smile. I rolled my eyes and tossed a rag at him. He started to protest against it but decided not to. I dunked the oil-stained rag into the hot water again and wished it wasn't so hot and humid. The spring was wet but the sun did not spare any mercy during the summer months and I was paying the price.

"So how's Leah?" Without looking at him, I grabbed the bucket and put it between us. Seth shrugged. I know things had been hard between Leah and some of the other res members, but she didn't really get along with anyone, so I don't think anyone took it too personally.

"She's doing alright. Probably wants to rip everyone's throats but…" he shrugged. "…That's her." I nodded and we stayed silent for a bit. I liked that about our relationship. It was mutual and easy and even from the beginning, we were fast friends.

Around twenty minutes later, Paul poked his head outside to check on our slow-going progress. Tempted to splash him with the bucket, I stayed silent with only a short nod to address him.

"Looking good," he commented. After inspecting practically every inch of the truck, he looked at his reflection in the mirror. "I should have you clean it more often." _Never gunna happen_, I wanted to say, but I knew that with my record, I would probably be cleaning the truck next month.

Without another word, Paul went back inside where I heard the pop of a can being opened and probably guzzled down in one sip. I rolled my eyes. _Oh, drink another one, why won't you. It won't solve anything, _I always told him. But why listen to your younger sister?

Seeming to sense my displeasure, Seth frowned. "That bad?" I nodded.

"It's like his answer to everything these days. Bad day, stress, anger, boredom…another drink. Another can, maybe a smoke or two." I sighed.

He nodded and reached up to rest a hand on my shoulder. "I know what you mean. Maybe he'll change," he said hopefully. _He already has_, I wanted to say.

I went back to scrubbing the truck- maybe more harsher than I intended- but in less than an hour we were done. Seth grabbed the hose and we had a water fight with soap and rags and it ended with stargazing. Seth did exactly what I needed him to: he distracted me.

* * *

FLASHBACK

SETH

* * *

"Leah? What is that?" I pointed at the markings, my eleven year old self asked, curiously. She laughed and pointed at the tracks on the ground.

"Probably some badger or something. It's cool, isn't it?" I nodded, fascinated at it all. We saw some other animal prints but it wasn't until I saw something in the bushes that I actually paid attention.

"Lee, what's that?" I asked as I pointed at a big black thing. Its head was held down low and its tail was between it's legs. Leah was right at my side in a manner of seconds, pulling me away, trying to achieve as much distance between me and the creature as she could.

"Just a stray mutt," she mumbled. The "mutt" looked up at her as if it heard and understood what she said. It locked eyes with her and for a moment there was something almost human in those eyes. But there wasn't much that was human in my sister. She put up this façade with me, but I knew she was worried about Sam after he suddenly disappeared. She gave him space, but she was hurting. Her eyes lost the shine that it used to hold and her smiles- real smiles- were rare and few. And now, the smile she had worn, disappeared as fear took over. She pulled her gaze away from the canine's and pulled me back to the house, away from the majestic creature.

I never told her this, I wouldn't want her to worry, but that wasn't the only time I saw the wolf. Whenever I was around her, I seemed to notice the wolf was present, lingering around when it felt no one was aware. But I was. For some reason, I felt it was my sister's very own protector. But I had no idea why it seemed so fascinated with her.

* * *

END OF FLASHBACK

SETH

* * *

"Dinner is ready," Mom called. I grinned, my mouth already watering at the thought of her famous green bean casserole. Leah took her seat next to me, crossing her arms over her chest. Dad took his seat next to her and sighed.

"I wish you two would tell me what this is all about," he muttered dishing up some food onto his plate. I could see Leah and Mom exchange a look though I had no idea what it was about. Neither of them said a word and us men were too involved in our food to care. So the subject was dropped though it wouldn't be long before it was picked up again.

Pushing back her chair, Leah got up and started for her room. Mom sighed and dropped her napkin on her lap. "Dinner time is family time," she reminded in her special voice she reserved just for Leah. "The polite thing-"

Leah turned around, a glint in her eyes, and interrupted her. "The polite thing? When is anyone around her polite?" She angrily stood there, just waiting for someone to contradict her. Pushing some of her hair from her face, she let a loose a groan.

"I've had enough of this," Mom said after several minutes. "Your mood swings are no longer tolerable."

Leah's hands shook and the dark circles under her eyes matched mine. She closed her eyes as Mom continued but neither of us were paying attention. As she walked towards us, her footing defied her and she fell on the arm of the couch. "Really, Leah, would it kill you to listen to me?" Leah's head went limp and then snapped up, dark eyes glowing. Then, out of nowhere, her copper skin peeled away and her dark hair turned into a silver coat. Her mouth snapped in a snarl and she ripped at the couch she had previously fallen on. Mom gasped next to me and dad's eyes widened. He stayed like that until he slumped over. "Harry!"

The wolf's eyes softened as it took in the damage. Something in me snapped as well. The dreams…the fear…the wolf. It was all real. Everything I had been afraid of was here and I could do nothing to stop it. A breeze overcame me and I hear another gasp, this one louder and clearer than the other one had been.

I looked deep into the wolf's eyes and felt a snarl come from my mouth. Looking into her eyes, I backed up. Reflected back was another wolf…me. Whimpering, I backed up until I was backed against a wall. _No, this wasn't happening_, I told myself.

Pawing at the doorknob, I managed to open it and ran out the door. I didn't care what happened, I couldn't believe this. I ran and ran and ran until my legs started to shake and I began hearing voices- the first sign of going insane.

_Seth, c'mon man_

_Seth, come back_

_Where are you?_

_Stay there_

Before I made it too far, I saw another wolf. It was solid black and much bigger than the ones that followed. It raised it's head as the others lowered theirs and something about it's stance showed power and leadership. With one shake of the head, it silenced the other's yips and sounds.

_Seth_, it said softly, though the voice still held the rough edge that was expected. And then I recognized it.

_Sam_? I asked incredulously. But it couldn't be him. The black night nodded and I turned to look at the numerous others. They all glanced at me with a knowing look. From brown to grey to an odd reddish shade, all the wolves seemed to encircle me. The wolf, the one I had feared in my dreams and now in real life, was Sam. It was my sister. And it was looking at me through the reflection, a reminder that you can't run from your fears. Because one day, the very thing that you ran from may just be yourself.


	3. Platinum Pain

PLATINUM PAIN

* * *

SETH

* * *

I ran faster and faster until everything around me was a blur of green and black, a forest in swirls of colors. Thoughts were swirling and floating in my head though only half were mine. The rest belonged to the numerous others who seemed to not be able to get out of my head. After Sam filled me in on everything, my head still continued to pound, my heart following suit. My sides ached and I wanted to rest but resting meant thinking and I knew if I ran, my thoughts would be on pause for the moment.

The images of swirled in my head. The wolf. My sister. My mom. My dad. My wolf. Me. It was all somehow connected by some little string. And the string was so skinny and fragile that any thing could easily snap it in half. Around my left ankle was a bundle of clothes I borrowed from Sam though they were all probably way too big and loose on me. But they would have to do. I knew the right thing would be to go home but I just couldn't bring myself to. So instead, I headed towards the one place I knew I would feel safe. Shay's.

I shifted behind a tree and walked up the Lahote's steep driveway. The light upstairs was on and again I was grateful for her. She seemed to always have my back. I reached to knock on the door but before I knocked twice, the old oak opened and Paul's face was on the other side. I was surprised he was even home. Usually when he was, he was wasted on the couch or stuck to the TV…or both.

He sidestepped just enough to let me through though he gave me a look first, one which made my skin crawl. He seemed to be able to see through me and into my soul.

I ran up the stairs before he decided to do it again or even worse start a staring contest and found myself in the doorway of Shay's room. She was lying on her stomach, her ankles crossed and in the air. Scattered on her bed was various pictures that I couldn't see from where I was, but as I advanced, I noticed that they were water colors of sunsets and charcoal sketches of trees' reflections across the water. On her stomach, Shay was humming along to the music on her ipod and drawing something in her sketchbook. Her pencil was in her hand, raised and ready as she finished the picture with some swift strokes. I knocked against the wall, and she looked up, a broad smile spreading across her face as she yanked on an earbud.

"Hey," she greeted me. She closed her sketchbook shut and tried to subtly tuck it in under the sheets. I sat beside her on the bed and tried to "subtly" fish it out so I could see. She shook her head, smiling mischievously. "Nope." I tried to smile back but it didn't come out as easily. "What's wrong?" she asked, sensing my tension.

I sighed, not sure how to tell her this. "Something happened today," I started, swallowing to continue. "My dad had a heart attack." I let those six words sink in as Shay's face went from shock to confusion to sorrow.

"I'm so sorry, Seth," she reached to put one arm around me. I took that opportunity to reach for the notepad though I doubt she noticed.

"But it's what caused his heart attack," I continued. "It was Leah." Shay looked at me with confusion, not at all sure where I was going with this or what Leah could have done to give her own father a heart attack. "She….she turned into this great big…wolf." I looked at her as her features softened. She stared on with doe brown eyes, waiting for me to continue on with the rest of my tale. "And then I turned into one, too." I stopped and looked down then back at her.

I have to admit I expected her to be shocked, confused, surprised, out of it, maybe even unresponsive. I flipped through the notebook before her protest could hit my ears and my eyes widened. She saw and hid her face.

"How do you –" I broke off. The picture she had was of a black wolf, but on the other side of the wolf head was Sam's profile.

Shay shook her head. "It's not—" I looked at her. "I've known since Paul. He was one of the first, after Sam."

I couldn't believe it. "So you kept this from me?" I held my breath, trying not to scream in frustration.

"It's not like I was able to tell you, Seth." Shay rolled her eyes. "I couldn't tell you because it wasn't my secret. And I knew one day…" her voice faltered off.

"But I told you. Less than twenty-four hours after I found out." I got up and headed to the door, throwing the notebook at the ground.

"Where are you going?" To be honest, I had no idea.

"Somewhere alone."

* * *

SHAY

* * *

The sketchpad fell by my feet and it opened up to another face and another wolf. I tucked it to my chest and opened it to the last page. There I had reserved it for someone special. With the profile of shaggy dark hair and brown eyes and a sweet smile, next to the four letters in swirly script: SETH

* * *

FLASHBACK

SHAY

* * *

"Wanna talk about it?" Seth asked as he carefully sat next to me at the steps of our school. Behind us, the strobe lights and pumping music swirled around, but it felt as though my whole world was standing still- as if I had pressed pause. The beautiful dress I had spent all my lawn-mowing money on was drenched in fruit punch and the bobby pins in my hair were falling out. My shoes were soaked and my curls were ruined and lifeless. I couldn't believe I had wasted so much time on something that ten minutes and a punch bowl had destroyed. But what was worse than my appearance was my pride. It had been wounded and pierced and I thought that I would never be able to show my face again.

Holding back a sob, I blurted, "I hate Roni!" My body shook as I hung my head down. Seth wrapped one arm around me, comforting. It wasn't the awkward hug that Jason, my date, had done and it hadn't left those feelings in my stomach like he did, but in it's own way, it was something better.

Then, between breaths, I told him about how the guy of my dreams had asked me to the dance and how I was so surprised. And the dance was great…until Roni came and took him while I was in the bathroom. And how she had told the entire school about what a freak I was and then pushed me into the punch bowl.

I waited for him to say something. He nodded and then told me about how I shouldn't let her push me around like that. _It's not like I try to__**, **_I had protested. _It wasn't my fault. _I hadn't asked for it and I didn't deserve it. He had offered me words of advice and all I wanted was for him to comfort me and tell me that he was on my side.

Then I ran away, all the way back home, and Paul did exactly that. He held me close and brought out the pint of Ben & Jerry's until we were both sick to our stomachs with melted chocolate and chunks all over our faces.

I knew I had to face those kids again. But the idea of being humiliated again scared me, and I chickened. Maybe one day I would face them. But not until I was ready.

* * *

END OF FLASHBACK

SETH

* * *

I decided that we needed groceries. But not just any groceries. Groceries that had to be bought in Forks.

I borrowed Jake's bike and headed towards town, grateful for the opportunity to go. I felt like I was the last to know. Even Shay had known and she wasn't a wolf. Right now, I was just dealing with way too much and it was getting to me. I stopped the bike near the grocery store and prayed no one would steal it. Then I pulled on the hood of my _La Push _sweatshirt over my head.

Making my way towards the bread, I bumped into someone. I muttered a low, _sorry _under my breath and kept going. Behind me were a few snickers and giggles and I groaned as I tried not to pay attention to them. _Fangirls._

I reached for the bread and grabbed three loaves, not bothering to check what kind they were. As I turned around to go get the milk, I ran head-on into someone. "Are you serious?" Automatically I put my hand to my head and groaned again as I looked at the platinum blonde who had previously been giggling and fawning over me.

The blonde then muttered something so vulgar that it would have made even Leah blush. She looked up and our eyes met. And then everything changed.

Suddenly her dyed blonde hair was the most beautiful thing ever and I had this urge to stroke it. And her eyes were simply intoxicating, taking away my breath. And her lips made the most killer smile I could ever imagine. She was perfect.

It was as if my brain forgot how to tell my mouth to speak because I just stood there and stared at her.

"Uh, dude…" I shook my head out of the daze.

"Sorry." I smiled at her as she rolled her eyes in irritation and annoyance. "I didn't seem to catch your name."

She flashed a smile that was too snarky to be polite but too sweet to be sarcasm.

"Veronica. But you can call me Roni."


End file.
